Letters
by Shinigami Miya Mizu
Summary: Last chapter is up! Letters are found between the five Gundam pilots in a time of communication lost. All letters seem to revolve around a cheery American. What could they talk about? What do they have to say? And why is there a 23,000 men army outside?
1. Duo to Heero One

Dear Heero,

Well, you asked me why I didn't help, it's because I don't care. With everyone wayghing on your every word, you've been spoiled beyond all reason. I've tryed to help, but you always find something wrong with what I do. It's even to the point that you just don't want my help, so I don't see why you're getting so mad. Oh, not to mention when I ask for an opinion, you're always going to be the toughist critic. Hello! I'm only 16, nothing I do is going to be that good. You just never believe in a good try. Everything has to be perfect. Well guess what, nothings perfect. I'm not perfect. If you want perfection, you won't find it here. Life is just one big mess of inperfections. But hey if you think you can find perfection, be my guest and have fun looking. And if you think you're perfect, HA!! That's a laugh. You aren't even close to perfection and you know what neither am I. I'll admit to that. You need to learn to do that too. You are not perfect. You are not even close to perfect. No matter what you say I'll never help. No matter how much you beg I'll never help. Well, you probably won't beg huh? Well, you just need to stop worrying. And just get over it I'LL NEVER CLEAN MY ROOM!!!

I still love you,  
Duo Maxwell

//////

^_^ 


	2. Heero to Duo One

I really didn't know what I should do about the last one. I knew it was alright and I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Well, here's Heero's reply. There will be a reason for this when I finish Duo's second letter.

Dear Duo,

Didn't your mother ever tell you never say never. You have no way of telling if you'll ever do anything, or not. You shouldn't be predicting things like that Duo. You know better. Well I thought you did, but we don't have anyway of knowing what will happen. And you will clean your room. I can guarantee that. If you don't your chores will increase as follows: you will dust every inch of Quatre's mansion, you will scrub the bathroom till they're sparkling clean, you will wash all windows, and you will clean all fireplaces. And as your chores go up, your privileges go down as follows: no phone, no TV, no computer, no food, no interaction with people whatsoever. You will be isolated to your room until it is cleaned. Duo Maxwell, do I make myself clear?

But I still love you too,

Heero Yuy


	3. Duo to Heero Two

Well, this letter will make sense of the last. I made sure I finished this one before the last.

Dear Heero,

Oh, yes. My mother did tell me once to never say never. So for a while I NEVER did. I would NEVER disobey my mother. But you know me, I can NEVER remember anything that far away. And you NEVER can ground me to my room, because you'll NEVER be my mommy. And NEVER tell me what I can do and what I can NEVER do. You NEVER will be able to control me like that, because I'll NEVER let you. But I'd NEVER do anything that'll get you ever so mad at me. And I know you'll NEVER apologize. So let me say this. IT WAS **_NEVER_** MY FAULT! It's my room and it'll NEVER be yours. So get this through your head…

I'LL **_NEVER_** CLEAN MY ROOM.

*Hugs and kisses*

Duo Maxwell

~~~~~~~

Author note: If you're wondering why they're letters… I don't know. We'll say the computers crashed, phone lines were cut, carrier pigeons were shot right out of the air, means of transportation stolen, Duo was grounded to his room, and Heero was too blind with rage to come up with another way of communicating.


	4. Heero to Duo Two

Dear Duo,

Seriously. CLEAN YOUR ROOM! It's a mess. You have a mountain of clothes at the end of what was once known as your bed, you have a tower of pizza boxes, and worst of all the bacteria in your room is starting to evolve into intelligent life. I could've sworn that the colony on the windowsill waged war on the colony on the computer chair. Duo, that's getting sick. Oh, not to mention your trash can ate one of my shoes, your bookshelf might have a cold it's always sneezing, your closet is a black hole and your dresser is the dictator of the knick-knack village. I'm losing my mind Duo. You can't find anything in your room. Nobody remembers the color of your floor, or if you even had a floor. It a myth. And before I have to go, your lamp has a crush on me. 

Don't worry she or he (it) doesn't have a chance with me,

Heero Yuy

Ps Quatre wants to say hi:

Hi Duo. Sorry to hear you're grounded to your room, but it was awfully nice of you to volunteer to clean my house. We've had a shortage of help there with the transportation robberies. I wish I could talk more, but I have to go, and try to fix the computer.

Quatre Winner 


	5. Duo to Heero Three

Dear Heero,

Do you know how boring it is to always write 'Dear Heero'? From this moment forth I shall say 'D-BM'. It shall stand for 'Dear Big Meanie', because that's what you are. I the so called 'colony' on the windowsill is actually a continent, and the one of the computer desk is actually an alternate universe. It's really weird actually in that universe Kennedy shot the John guy. Or was it Lincoln? I don't know. But the bookshelf is being tried as I write by the overdue library books. And the lamp says 'Hi. See you later.' Heero… what's that supposed to mean? Are you seeing… um… it later? But I can to find everything in my room. My pensil is being held captive by the evil overlord pensil sharpener, my remote for my DVD player is on a date with the remote for my stereo, and my shoos are, well lets see, you enter my closet, turn left at Wasn't Here Blvd., go till you can to a fork in the road, and choose the left (you don't want to see what's down the right), reach the kingdom of hangers and go to the museum. They should still be on display. I figured since I'm NEVER supposed to leave my room, that I wouldn't need them. So this proves I don't need to clean my room.

*blows kisses*

Duo Maxwell

Ps Tell Quatre I have the modern art statue of pensil shavings waiting for him. Thanks a ton.


	6. Heero to Duo Three

Dear Duo,

Fine. You don't have to clean up your room. I'm too busy making sure your room is cleaned. I don't know what to do. So just forget it. And what do you mean your bookshelf is being tried? Isn't it sick? Shouldn't it be treated? Oh no! I'm worrying about furniture. See this is why I don't care anymore if you clean your room. And… is my shoe in that museum? I really want my shoe back. I guessed if that had your shoes, they might have mine. And yes Duo, I'm seeing your lamp. You know with that body, and that bright light bulb. I mean who could ever resist. And don't you mean computer chair? I didn't know you had a, alternate universe? on your desk. Oh with not cleaning your room, you're still grounded to it. I made some modifications to your room to make sure that you don't escape. I have twenty-four hour watch at your door, you know about the electrical rimmed windows, the scolding hot vents, and I have a spy. So I know everything that you're doing. You understand… I'm always watching you.  
  
And I love watching you,

Heero Yuy

Ps Quatre says thank you. He'll pick them up when he finds transportation.

~~~~~~~

I just noticed that I never mentioned where they were. Heero and Duo live together, but Heero is stuck at Quatre's house. That's how he and Quatre can talk. 


	7. Duo to Heero Four

Dear Heero,

You're going to see my, lamp? You don't mean that. I mean it's a lamp. Come on. Tell me it's not true. That's really, um… weird Heero. Well… Heero you win. I cleaned my room. The mountains of clothes are gone, the pensil shavings are gone, everything's gone. My room is clean, are you happy now? I do have a floor it's lime green with yellow polka dots. I think I'm gonna change that soon. Oh, and there's an end to my closet. As to close the deal off, I'll return the transportations, fix the computers, correct Morse code, and… well that's it. The carrier pigoens weren't my fault.   
  
You win,

Duo Maxwell 


	8. Heero to Duo Four

Dear Duo,

Yes, I'm ecstatic that you cleaned your room. It's great. And I bet it's very clean. Thank you. I'll be home tomorrow, and drive you here to Quatre's to clean his house. And you're still grounded for the next week. No leaving the house, but you can leave your room. I'm really relieved.

Thank you again,

Heero Yuy

~~~~~~~~ (Day Heero gets home)

"DUO MAXWELL! GET OVER HERE POST HASTE!" Heero was in his room when Duo arrived. Heero's room was a mess.

"What did you do to your room, Heero?"

"What did I do? What did I do? This is everything from your room! You will stay in this room till it is cleaned!"

"But Heero. I just out of my room."

"Which I still don't understand how you did. You were already out before I got home. But you will clean my room, and you won't leave." Duo sulked, and started to pick up some clothes till Heero interrupted him. "Lose the lamp first."

Fin~ Finish~ The End~ That's all~ Pleasure doing business with you, but I'm done with this.

Thank you for your reviews. I'm glad you all liked it. I'll come up with something else, but I just ran out of ideas. And I know some of you got the wrong ideas about "And I love watching you" it meant as in a comedy show. Just seeing how many of your minds were in the gutter. Osta bye bye. I'm finished.


	9. Quatre to Duo One

I was surprised by how many people yelled at me that I ended this. So I sat down, crossed my legs and thought… *think* *think* *brain cramp* *but still thinking*. Then it hit, what about Duo cleaning Quatre's house? Yea.. So lets start with that. This is after Duo fix all communications but Heero reminded Duo about cleaning Quatre's house so he crapped up everything again.

Dear Duo,

Sorry to hear (Heero wrote me) that you're now cleaning his room. Well you do know that was wrong. You should clean your room, but that's not the reason I'm writing you. I'm writing you to remind you to clean my house. I really could use the help. Oh, and stop being immature and fix the communications, again. And give back all the transportations. I don't know how you're doing this but it's really annoying. I'll have all the supplies you'll need to clean ready for you. Duo just do it now and get it over with.  
  
Sincerely,  
Quatre Winner

Here you goes!!! Give me time. I've been really busy. But I'll update as soon as I can.


	10. Duo to Quatre One

Dear Quatre,

Hey my little Arabian butt scratch. Long time no hear... thanks to me. I'm sorry I'm unable to make it to your house anytime soon. Thanks to the lack of transportation, again thanks to me. I'm unable to clean your house. Maybe Trowa or Wu-bear could help you. You should ask them. You never know. They could walk. Well, I don't know. I have to clean Heero's room, so I have to go see if the desk can fit in his closet.

Talk to you later butt scratch,

Duo Maxwell


	11. Quatre to Duo Two

Duo,

Duo Maxwell! Why can't you walk your butt over here. You have two legs, used them. I don't think Heero meant 'put everything in my closet' when he said "clean this room". But you know him better than I do. So for your sake I hope he did. I really would hate to hear my American brat was murdered. But back to business. You're not getting the picture Duo. This is not an option. You are going to clean my house, or else. I think you know what or else is. If not, do you dare see if I have anything. Duo do you feel lucky. Well do you? Hope you'll see it my way. You will clean this house Duo. Transportation or not. Communication or not. Free will or not. CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!!

Your Arabian butt scratch,

Quatre Winner


	12. Duo to Quatre Two

Dear Quatre,

What do you mean "or else"? You can't have anything on me. I would know. And just to let you know. I don't have legs. Heero kinda tied them up when a strange avalanche came out of his closet onto him. I don't see why hes mad at me. But have you taken my advice to ask Trowa? Or Wu-bear? I mean Quatre, closer to you than I am. Just ask. I bet they'll understand. I understand you don't want me help. Oh… I kinda have to go. I hear the cocking of a gun. I bet Heero found the German shepard I made out of the bacteria. I couldn't figure anything else to do with them.  
  
Hope to hear from you soon,

Duo Maxwell

I guess I should've mentioned this earlier, but better late than never. I'm opened to your ideas. I mean. It took me awhile to get some of these ideas. So feel free to give me ideas.

Miyabewa


	13. Quatre to Duo Three

Dear Duo,

If you haven't noticed, with your legs still tied up you still have legs. And what do you mean Trowa and Wufei are closer to me than you are? They live across town, and you live three blocks away. Oh, and I do want your help. I can use a lot of help. And you were the one to promise to help me. You know you shouldn't go back on the promise you, I mean Heero made me about cleaning my house. And I have plenty on you. Heero stayed here when you took the transportations and stopped the communications. I'll even make this easy for you. You just need to clean one bathroom. One of my choosing, but just one. Walk you American hinny over to my house, or everyone will see this embarrassing thing of yours.   
  
Hope you see it my way,  
Quatre Winner


	14. Duo to Quatre Three

Dear Quatre,

Saying that you think I lyed about Trowa and Wu- Bear, it hurts. Yea, it hurts really bad. And going back on a promise, it just sounds mean. It's more like: I won't do anything for you till I know what you have about me. If it's my Blue's Clues stuff animal, I would like it back. I just can't seem to find it. Or my bed. That seems to be missing too. Could it be my bed? I mean, I know it has transformers on it, but that… probably still me clean your house. Even if it was one bathroom. So what do you have… huh? Huh? Huh? What? I like to see you get me to walk me 'hinny' to your house. Legs tied or not.

Poo on you,

Duo Maxwell


	15. Quatre to Duo Four

Dear Duo,

Poo on me? What's wrong with you? You're acting like a two-year-old. No I don't have your stuff animal. And your bed was eaten by that bacteria dog you made. Heero told me. So you might want to ask him about the stuff animal too. And if you so badly want to know what I have on you, clean my bathroom. I'll give you a hint. It's a pretty picture. Or pictures. Come over, clean my bathroom, and find out. How is the legs tied thing going? I heard Heero lost his dinner because something ate it. Did you make something new? Well, you can tell me about it when YOU COME TO CLEAN MY HOUSE!

Keeping calm, staying calm,

Quatre Winner


	16. Duo to Quatre Four

Sorry it's taking me so long to update everything. I'm getting a head start before my Japanese class. I'm ecstatic about it. So I'll be a little slow. My apologies.

Dear Quatre,

Fine. I'll go to your house tomorrow. You better have the red carpet rolled out, or I might just turn around. Will you be choosing the bathrooms or will I? Oh and thanks about the info on my bed. I just kinda disappeared on me. And my legs are indeed still tied. And so are my arms. I'm telling Heero what to write. Hi Quatre, did you know Duo thought tied was spelled tyed? I swear, the only purpose for his head is to keep the rain out of his neck. Heh, Duo's complaining about what I'm writing. Not much he can do about it though. He wants me to stop talking about him, so I should stop. After I say this one thing. What you have has nothing to do about me right?

Sincerely,

Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy


	17. Quatre to Duo Five

Dear Duo,

It's great that you've agreed to clean my bathroom. It's not what you promised, but I'll make it worth it. I'll be choosing the bathroom you'll be cleaning. It's going to be especially dirtied up for you. Trowa and Wufei already agreed to help me with that. And I'll gladly roll out the red carpet, if you agree to vacuum it. And Heero: Hi, sorry that you had to write for Duo. What did he do to get completely tied up. Did he really spell tied t-y-e-d? I haven't noticed. Wasn't really paying attention to spelling. If you want to know if the thing I have has anything to do with you, make sure Duo is here to clean the bathroom we've agreed upon. Deal?  
  
See you tomorrow Duo,  
Quatre Winner


	18. Duo to Quatre Five

Dear Quatre,

Heero and I have two words to say to you, not including the explanations so you're not confused: bite me. I say that because I can't believe that I'm gonna clean your bathroom. And Heero because you're dragging him into this.   
  
So there,  
Duo Maxwell


	19. Quatre to Duo Six

Dear Duo,

I guess I should thank you for at least showing up to clean the bathroom. And I guess I should thank you for doing some cleaning. But I won't. Making a clean path to the toilet and bathtub, and placing stones to the sink and towel rack, is not considered cleaning. Sure the path is sparkling clean, and the rocks are a beautiful black marble, that must've been expensive, but that's not cleaning my bathroom. You have one more chance to clean the bathroom, or else. And just to be fair, yes Heero. I'm sorry but the thing has something to do with you. I'm truly sorry about it, but it's the only for Duo to keep his promise.  
  
CLEAN MY BATHROOM!,

Quatre Winner

Ps Next time you come, please bring the pencil shaving modern art statue you promised me too. And you did promise me that yourself, Duo, so there's no excuse for not having it. Besides, you've already said it was done.


	20. Duo to Quatre Six

Dear Quatre,

I insist that I do not clean your bathroom because, HAHAHAHAHAHA I GOT SOMETHING ON YOU! The tables have turned yea! The tables have turned yea! Now what will you do? Huh huh huh? Nothing cause I got something of a doosy here for you. Now Heero says that we make a trade. Your itam for my itam. What do you say? Personally if it keeps me from cleaning your bathroom I don't care. And making the path is cleaning. The rest of the floor is for show. You really don't need it if you really think about it.   
  
Think about the perposel (or however you spell it),

Duo Maxwell


	21. Quatre to Duo Seven

Dear Duo,

You have something on me? What is it? When did you get it? How? Fine, I'll make the trade. When would you like to?

Just bring back the transportation and communications,

Quatre Winner


	22. Duo to Quatre Seven

Dear Quatre,

I thought I already returned the communications and transportations. Guess not. That explains why we're still writing letters. And about the trade… I don't know. In the short about of time, the blackmail itam and I have gotten to know each other. I'm kinda fond of it actually. It speaks to me. It tells me… I HAVE YOU ON THE ROPES! I HAVE YOU ON THE ROPES! And it has a wonderful singing voice too. Oh, it's singing again!

Bye bye,

Duo Maxwell


	23. Quatre to Duo Eight

Dear Duo,

Obviously you didn't return the communications and transportations, and you know it. Now lets set up the meeting. And my ITEM (that's how you spell it, not itam) sings? If it's the singing sunflower I can explain. It was a gift from Catherine, and wait. It might not be. What do you have? Whatever it is, I want it back. You know you technically stole from me, but I won't turn you in if you just give me back whatever it is you took.  
  
Sincerely,  
Quatre Winner


	24. Duo to Quatre Eight

Dear Quatre,

True. I did technically stole this ITEM (picky aren't we) from you, but what did you do to obtain my item? Well… you're thing is giving an opera show and… I have to go I hear Heero com- he's here. Quatre- this is Heero. Have the item ready, and Duo and I will be over tomorrow. Bye. I guess I have to say bye to your item. I'll truly miss it. I'll ask it to do a farewell tour around the house, and I'll follow to hear it sing for the last time.   
  
Hope you're happy,

Duo Maxwell


	25. Quatre to Duo Message

Author note: Sorry it took me so long to come up with this, but I got so many good ideas for the blackmail items I didn't know what to do, but I think I chose the right ones based on the characters. Well… here it goes…

* * *

The answering machine sounded: Hello, you've reached the home of Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell. We are not in at the moment so please leave a message. And if this is Quatre Winner, thank you for the picture of Duo peeking into his Christmas presents, but WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME YOU _beep. _

"Umm… sorry Heero, I guess I'm not exactly on your best side. I just need you to get Duo to my house. But it's better than what Duo and you did. You didn't have a blackmail item? That's cheating! No fair. You bluffed me and I fell for it. I can't believe it. Well… at least the communication is back. But you cheated. And Heero I just remembered, I do have something for you. _Rummage… rummage… rifle… CRASH_ Sorry dropped the phone, but here you go…"

_Really deep voice_ "Hi Heero babe. It's me… Duo's lamp. Quatre saved me. Aren't you glad? Now we can go on the date you promised me. And-"

"Now Heero… do you know where my singing sunflower is? If you do tell me or…"

_deep voice_ "Heero… I love you!!"

"You know where it's go- _click_ Hello? Did the answering machine hang up on me? Hello?"

"Quatre… I know where you're sunflower is. Don't get Heero involved. He doesn't know."

"Duo? Where is it?"

"Uh- uh. What do I get out of the deal?"

"That's it. _click_"

"Uh-oh I think I made him mad._click_"

* * *

Want to find out what Quatre's going to do… review! 


	26. Wufei to Duo One

Duo,

Duo Maxwell, you little American prick! Why'd you have to go and do that to Quatre! He's hiring a bunch of hit men, you idiot! He was even stopping at my dojo earlier looking for recruits for his army of manslaughters. Just give him back what you stole from him. AND RETURN THE COMMUNICATION YOU JERK! It's an injustice making us pay for what you did. Now be fair and apologize to Quatre. One piece of advice to you:

Don't make enemies with a guy who can slice you,

Chang Wufei

* * *

Author Note: I know, I know… Army of Manslaughters isn't in Quatre's personality, but it was that or having cry to somebody. I thought this was more interesting.


	27. Duo to Wufei One

A/N: Sorry to have disappeared for a while. My computers alittle broken, but luckily the school's library's computers are working so I'll try and catch up.

* * *

Dear Woofie,

I have only 2 things to tell you. 1, I did return the communication. Just ask Quatre. He called me after I returned it. 2, if you knew what I had of Quatre's you wouldn't want to give it back. Trust me. Besides, I'm starting to see why Quatre wears that pink shirt of his, it's unbelievably comfortable.  
  
I'll leave you to your thoughts now,

Duo Maxwell


	28. Wufei to Duo Two

Author Note: I know. I know. I have a bad habit of not updating faster. I'm so sorry. But I think you all want to know what happens right? Well...

* * *

Dear Maxwell,

You completely confuse me. What are you talking about Quatre's pink shirt? Plus, if you did return the communication, then what happened to it again? You have a record of doing stuff like this, so… what did you do? Wait, do you have Quatre's pink shirt? Is that what you have? Duo, what are you thinking of? I don't even want to think about what Quatre's going through right now. Speaking of which, I think he's outside.  
  
I'm going to kill you Maxwell,  
Chang Wufei


	29. Duo to Wufei Two

Author note: I know that this is really becoming a bad habit of mine, but I just so busy. I'll try to hurry up with updating. Sorry it's so late. Please, no more death glares. Death glares are deathy.

* * *

Duo listened to this radio report:

" 'Hello everyone. My name is Quatre Winner, and I have taken control of this radio station and many more. I have come to inform you that right outside of this city is my army of twenty-three thousand men. I will send them in to charge the city in twenty-four hours if I do not get my objects back from a resident named Duo Maxwell. You may think this is extreme, but you really don't have time to be thinking of that do you? Get my things back, and I'll call of my men, and I'll also return the communication. Aren't you tired by now of no communication?'

'Uh… sir, if there's no communication, then how are you contacting them?'

'Shut up you idiot. No time to explain… why aren't you at your post?'

'Uh…'

'BAKA! That's all for my report.'"

Dear Wufei,

Were you listening to that report on the radio? That guys an idiot. He left his post. HAHAHAHA! But… I told you so. I didn't take the communication this time! It was Quatre. Why is he doing this anyway? Oh well, no time to think about that. I think there's an angry mob outside. I better get to my running and hiding.

Till next time,

Duo Maxwell


	30. Wufei to Duo Three

Author Note: I think I might begetting better with updating, but I'm trying. Well Happy Thanksgiving, hope everybody enjoys their weekend. Oh and thanks for the reviews!

* * *

Dear Maxwell,

I can't really write now. Right now I'm kinda in a meeting that's being held outside of your house. We're trying to decide if we should just charge straight into your house or go for the stealthy and quiet approach. I'm hoping for the charge. But all their reasoning is really boring me. And if you're wondering why I'm telling you this, it's because I believe that somebody should know when an attack is coming to them. Also because like I said I want to charge and if you know we're attacking then we can't really be stealthy can we? Well… oh they're about to vote now.

Got to go,

Chang Wufei


	31. Duo to Wufei Three

Author Note: Ha ha ha ha! I'm over coming the bad habit of not updating. Hahahahahahahaha! But I'm kinda in school, but I don't have to do anything wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Dear Wufei,

That's great to hear you're so close. You should come visit me. I really don't get with what you were saying in your last letter, but I think you said that you guys were voting on something. How's that going? Hope everything's alright. I'm just sitting back right now reading a lot of letters. I seem to be a very popular guy. I'm getting all this mail from people I don't even know, and some I haven't talked to in forever. So since I guess I'll be seeing you soon I'll let you go back to your… meeting what it? And I'm gonna write back to all my fans.

Keep this signature (it's famous now),

Duo Maxwell


	32. Wufei's Invasion

A/N: And here I thought that I was getting over my little bad habit of not updating. ::Sigh:: I'm so sorry that it's taking so long, and I'm posting new stuff while I'm having trouble updating, I'm sooo sorry, but trust me they're good. Well… I don't know. I'll stop babbling now. OH! This will be the last letter between Duo and Wufei, and I really would like to start letters between Duo and Trowa, but I don't know what to do. I'm open for suggestions. Thanks!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or it's characters. Or at least not yet. When my friend's done with the cloning machine, he'll clone me the pilots. YAY! I can't wait!

* * *

Wufei's Invasion

Duo sat in the living just barely finishing Wufei's recent letter. Duo shrugged off the contents thinking they're not his problems, that Wufei could do what ever he wants to do. He leaned back upon the couch, placed the letter on a near by table, also grabbed the remote, and turned on the t.v. to watch some classic Tom and Jerry. "Hahahahahahahaha! I love Jerry, he's such a genius, but that Tom is an idiot. How can he not see the 'x' on the floor? I mean come on. It's huge! Like that one over there." Duo pointed down a hallway that's somewhat behind the t.v. "Hmm… since when has there been a 'x' in the house? I don't know. But learning from Tom the cat, I won't stand on it."

Duo stood up and started walking towards the 'x'. He stopped short a few inches from it, and started circuling it. "Well, as long as I stay off it, it's safe right? I wonder what would happen what would happen if I did stand on it." Duo made many complete revolutions around the mysterious 'x', but was unable to find out anything about it. (A/N: That's what he was trying to do???) "Well… lets see. I mean, I doubt a piano or a bowling ball will fall on my head. Even so, I bet it doesn't hurt THAT much." Duo stepped into the center of the 'x', suddenly a cage dropped right in front of him. "Wow! A cage! I would've never have guessed it."

"Probably not Maxwell… well, where are Quatre's things?" Wufei stepped out of the shadows.

"Hey Fei! How's it going? I take it you and your group came to a agreement about whatever you were trying to decide. Good for you. Now, uh can you help me out of this cage? I seem to be stuck."

"That's the point Maxwell! Now, I'll ask again. Where are Quatre's things? We have 2 hours to deliver them before his armies attack, so we don't have that much time."

"We?"

"No time to explain. Just the locations of the items please."

"Uh… okay? In my room, in the drawer labeled Quatre's items." Wufei nodded and said his thanks to Duo. He rushed off to Duo room just down the hall, and quickly returned out.

"Duo? There was only a toothbrush in there."

"I know. It's Quatre's."

"Then what was with the shirt comments, and it being every important to him?"

"Oh… the shirt thing, Heero bought one just like it just green, and I tried it on. It was really comfy. And everybody needs to brush their teeth, so of course his toothbrush is important to him." Wufei just looked at Duo.

"Well, if this is all you have, then not much I can do. But if he still attacks the city, I'm coming back for you." Wufei turned and exited the Duo's home through the window.

"Uh… Wufei? Aren't you going to help me out of this cage? I'm still stuck…"


	33. Trowa to Duo One

A/N: Let's just continue on with this shall we.

* * *

Dear Duo,

I know I'm kind of contacting you out of the blue, but I wanted to know if you still have that cage that Wufei borrowed from me? He says he left it at your house, so can you please return it. It's the cage for the lion, and the lion is becoming a little hostile.

Sincerely,  
Trowa Barton

PS- Can you help Quatre with the communications. He's having a little trouble.

* * *

A/N- Kisei- for the pencil or pen questions:

Heero- Black Pen  
Duo- Pencil, he makes a lot of mistakes when writing.  
Trowa- Black Pen  
Quatre- Computer typed  
Wufei- Blue pen.


	34. Duo to Trowa One

A/N: Okay! This should show how much I don't like parties. There's a party going on around in me in my Japanese class but I'm typing on my laptop to continue this fic. Maybe something's wrong with me … oh well. Now on with the fic.

* * *

Dear Trowa,

Yes, I do still have your cage. Weirdest thing, I'm still sitting right in the middle of it. It's kinda cozie in hear, tiny but cozie. A few blankets and pillows here and there, be better if there was a bathroom, then I wouldn't have to walk down the hall. Oh… and a game system would be nice too. Maybe pay a little DDR, or Halo 2. But I just I don't have a choice. Gotta stay in the cage, unless nature calls then I can leave. Wufei said so. He's really harsh. But I get a cookie if I stay in the cage. Haven't yet to see it, but he says I'll get one.

Hopefully wanting for the cookie,

Duo Maxwell


	35. Trowa to Duo Two

A/N: Ello, ello. Thanks for reviewing and for the support to continue this fic.

kidishcaresh: I'm glad I was able to save you from an agonizingly boring speech. Speeches (and math problems) are the evil minions, of the evil padawans, of the evil jedis, who get their evil power from the evil force, which makes them, evil. And yes, I'm on a Star Wars kick right now.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own GW or the characters… well… no I don't own any :Whisper: not yet at least. And I don't own Star Wars, or the minions, or the padawans, or the force… uh… but I can spell it… see… force! Yay me!

* * *

Dear Duo,

I feel like the bad guy, but… uh… Wufei doesn't intend to give you a cookie. He was just making sure you would stay put in your house while he told Quatre the news about his toothbrush. He told me that I should just get the cage back from you personally. Just tell me a good time to stop by.

Sincerely,

Trowa


	36. Duo to Trowa Two

A/N: Yay! Next chapter! I'm getting better with updating! Sorry I can't do anything with the letters being so short. Wish I could. But if I did it would be a lot of pointless rambling. Not sorry there's anything wrong with that, but it doesn't have anything to do with the story itself… even though this whole fic is nothing but pointless things with a somewhat plot…?

* * *

Disclaimer: I can't believe I'm being made saying this. Even though it's true, it's mean. I'll own it when I become the queen of the world, married to a pilot of a gundam named Deathscythe (but not Deathscythe, named Duo Maxwell and looks like Duo Maxwell, but isn't Duo Maxwell. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh yea… I don't own Gundam Wing.

* * *

Dear Trowa,

WHAT! I'VE BEEN SITTING IN THIS CAGE FOR A VERY LONG TIEM WITH NO INTENTION OF GETTING MY COOKIE! I WANT MY COOKIE! IT MAKES MEE SO MAD THAT I DON'T WHAT TO DO TO GET REVENGE… WAIT… WUFEI HATES DIRTY THINGS… THERE! I'LL DIRTY HIS HOUSE! HE DESERVES IT! Oh yea… hi Trowa.

Don't tell WUFEI what I just said,

Duo Maxwell


	37. Trowa to Duo Three

A/N: Wow! I'm updating really fast on this one… I guess it's the short chapters. Well, I better you all are wondering what will happen next. Lets see.

* * *

Disclaimer: Yea yea. You don't know. Look at the last chappy.

* * *

Dear Duo,

Uh… what are you planning to do? There's no reason to take revenge on Wufei. How about I just give you a cookie myself? Will that work? I'll give you two! I just need that cage back. The lion is hitting all butcher shops. Go figure. And why haven't you helped Quatre with the communications yet? I'm asking a lot of questions. In your next letter, you better answer them all.

Sincerely,

Trowa Barton


	38. Duo to Trowa Three

A/N: Sorry, I didn't update as quickly as before, I've been sick… -cough-cough-. But I'm obviously better. But I'm alittle pissed. I'm watching the top 40 awesomely bad love songs, and half the songs on the list I love. But anyways, I'll continue this fic…

* * *

Disclaimer-Pfft-

* * *

Dear Trowa, 

In order: I'm planning not to tell you what I'm planning hahahahahhaha, you don't want a pathetic cookie from you hahaha, or two, and we write letters, that will be the communication from now on. Even a cookie from Wufei won't make me happy anymore. I've answered all of your little questions. Now, it's time to collected some old wonderful friends. Two were waging war on each other (back in Ch. 4), one wants to date Heero (again, back in Ch. 4), and many others live in my closet (back in Ch.5.) Prepare for battle. Now for the most awesomenessly awesome battle cry:

Damn the cats! Man the sails! Up, up, and away, here I go,

Duo Maxwell


	39. Trowa to Duo Four

A/N: Well, I just found out I'm not as well as I thought I was yesterday, but I'm well enough to update! Yay! But I'm not at school, and I'm missing Japanese class –Cries! And my dad's trying to get me to not go to animefest tomorrow, but as I told him, I could be coughing up blood like that chick in Excel Saga and I'd still go. But I've been rambling a lot, so I'll update.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't know why I'm still putting this on, I've been neglecting it.

* * *

Dear Duo, 

Hold on a sec, aren't you the cage? How are you going to get out? I don't know if you haven't noticed but I don't know what you're talking about when you're talking about 'old wonderful friends'. And, by the way, aren't you tired of writing letters yet? Oh, what's this about battle? Why are you dragging everyone into this? One last question… what did the cats ever do to you?

Sincerely,  
Trowa Barton


	40. Duo to Trowa Four

A/N: Background story on the battle cry. I was bored one day and thought I'd come up with something interesting to say to my friends… and any random person that just happened to walk by and listen to it. But anyways… thought that would be a fun little thing for you all to know. And I'm at 40 chapters! When I started this story, I didn't even know there would be a chapter 2. Haha… -sweatdrop- Well, I'll continue.

* * *

Disclaimer: I really should write the disclaimer, but it's so depressing.

* * *

Dear Trowa,

I may be in a cage, but, and I mean BUT, I can tell the guard that I need to go to the bathroom, and once I return from that, I'll pick the lock with the many bobby pins in my hair. Do you have any idea how many I have in my hair? My hair may be a braid, but it takes hours to get my bangs the way they are, and to make sure I don't have little fly away stray hairs, I have many bobby pins. Well, you may know how it feels to spend hours in front of a mirror fixing your hair, I mean your bangs would take more time than mine. Why am I rambling about hair? I need to start my plan. The next time you hear from me, I'll be getting my revenge on Wufei, and his mean-no-I-won't-give-you-a-cookie-butt!

Evil maniacal laugh,  
Duo Maxwell


	41. Conclusion

A/N: Well, I decided this is gonna be the last chapter of letters. Right now my class is trying to stop me from drinking Fred my lipton ice tea. They're the best friends in the world. DO NOT PASS THIS PAPER. SHE KILLED A GOOD MAN NAMED FRED… WELL HE WAS A CAN.. BUT THAT'S ATLEAST 1ST DEGREE MAN SLAUGHTER! NOW SHE'S TRYING TO SAVE HERSELF WITH COOKIES! BRIBES WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE, BUT THAT'S NOT PLAYING FAIR! Beep! YES Beep! Yes, okay… um that's David. Say hi to David and Andy… but he didn't type anything, I'll have to give him more cookies. But I'll be ending this fic, this is the final chapter. Hopefully you all will be happy with it. Booooohoooooo ; now he types something. Anyway… yea, I'll start the fic now.

Beware long Disclaimer so if you don't want to read go ahead and skip:

* * *

Disclaimer: Since this is the last chapter I'll give one of my unique disclaimers. GW doesn't belong to me or the evil dictator of the universe (except pluto and Earth), although we would love to own it and have the GW universe bend to our will, we'll just go on living ruling everything that we do, reaching for the destruction of the evil Sins Faction! 

HEY! I'M NOT EVIL! IF I WAS I WOULD ACTUALLY RULE EVERYONE INSTEAD OF LETTING THEM DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T HURT ME! (I'm taking this from David now) SO DON'T CALL ME EVIL YOU Beep!

HEY! DON'T STEAL MY RANTING NATURE! ITS CRUEL AND UNSUAL! YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT! IM GONNA GET A SMALL HAMPSTER AND ATTACK YOUR FEET WHEN YOUR SLEEPING! NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO HUH! HUH! BAH ON YOUR FACE! BAH!

HEY! I RANT ALL THE TIME OKAY! THOUGH NOT AS OFTEN IN CAPS LOCK AS YOU… BUT STILL! I'LL SEND MY ARMY OF SQUIRRELS TO GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH BLADES OF GRASS FROM THE LAND OF CALIFORNIA! HA! TAKE THAT! BEWARE THE SQUIRRELS!

Does this thing have spell check? I mean, you guys are really sucking in the spelling department. Wow, you'll just look at this and think, "Gee, Tidah got onto the computer to insult us, didn't she?"

Well, guess what? Of course I did! Because you suck! And I don't use caps lock, I just hold down the shift key. It's like extra work, but I'm a complete idiot anyway. I don't care for your ranting at all, and I hope the author decides to delete this, unless...

You guys suck. Like, really suck. You're probably suckier than my entire sucky life, so go and suck elsewhere. But not in a porn movie, please, because I don't mean that type of sucking. That kind of sucking is not what I'm talking about. Kuroro wants his book back, so you'd better give it back before you're sucking the wrong thing, like, totally. Jason is watching the screen right now, and his face looks red from this angle. I think he may be reading the top part. Those bunny girls need to die, you know. The ones over on the other side of the class. Who the hell wears color-coordinated outfits these days, anyway? Where's your goddamned spellcheck, dammit? I mean, if you don't have those squiggly lines that tell you when you're spelling something wrong, people will take you for an idiot. There'll be a mob right outside your door, waiting to go to the nearest fifty story building to defenestrate you. Defenestrate is a word that reminds me of castrate. This is because I consider castration to be a necessary part of a male's adult life.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

I think Jacob has problems. He's walking around with forks in his hair. Oh, hi, Lindsey! XD

Sensei will be angry if she catches me writing on your computer, but the demise is neer and the end is close to us, so I must tell you this tale. Soon there will be a major war between the gophers and the penguins. The fate of the world depends on the work of one sole person. That person is called the idiot who cant spell. He wrote this by controlling my mind and telling me I needed to eat all the quiznos sandwitches on earth in the next 5 minuites. Ok. Be careful. Soon the gophers and penguins will be after you too, so look arround every cornere and eat all you greens cuz the end is neer and the potatios will taste bade.

Okay… that's my really interesting diclaimer. I sent my laptop loose through the class, and they had a field day with it. Poor laptop. Luckily I read through it before I uploaded it and censored it. It's just Tidah's that needed censoring. But anyway. Here's the fic.

END!

* * *

Trowa, Quatre, Heero, and Wufei met outside of Duo Maxwell's residence. Heero silently led them inside. They all devided that they needed to stop Duo before he sent his army of germs and scary lamp after everybody. Naturally, they all first blamed Wufei for not giving him a cookie, but they peeked through every door way expecting to see Duo in any minute. 

Trowa had the thought that Duo would be drawing his plans on a piece of paper, and believed if they could just get hold of the paper then Duo wouldn't be able to remember his plans and fail. Besides, if his drawings were good enough they could hang it up on the refrige or something.

Quatre thought that Duo was too peaceful to do anything, but he'd be doing a little dress up thing. He'd be in the most evilest costume he could find with a cape, and be frailing it around frantically. He might even be putting on a little fashion show for the germs, and lamp. Maybe they were the guests of honor, but then again Duo didn't invite them, so that made Quatre upset.

Heero just believed that even though it was Chang's fault, Duo was punishing him. I mean, why else would Duo recruit the lamp in his army? Gosh, just the thought of the lamp made Heero shiver. It's no eyes shade. The way it would move it's plug, all sly and creepy. The overly deep voice it possessed, and repeated his name. Heero came to the conclusion that the lamp had to be destroyed once and for all, and it was his job to do so.

Wufei didn't care what Duo was doing, he thought it was rude for everybody to blame him. He just had nothing but the best intentions in mind. Why did everybody have to blame him? He was just trying to bring justice in the time of the communication lost. When they catch up to where Duo is, Wufei's plans to make his speech to clear his name in front of humans, germs, and lamp alike.

When they reached Duo room, music was blaring so loud that it was impossible to hear anything else. Why they didn't notice it before? They were so deep in thought that everything else was nothing but background. They slowly opened the door, and was slammed back to the wall by a wall of noise. Wufei suddenly realized what Duo was doing by the noise he heard. He quickly stood up, and shoved his way into Duo's room. "DUO! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE PLAYING DDR WITHOUT ME! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T PLAY AGAIN UNTIL WE HAD OUR REMATCH! I WON'T LET YOU WIN! I'LL NEVER LET YOU WIN!"

Duo finished doing Only You when he realized that Wufei was behind him breathing heavily for some reason. "Hi Wu-bear! What are you so upset about? Do you want to play too?"

Everybody else entered the room to see Wufei strangling Duo with all he has. Heero and Trowa pulled Wufei off of Duo as Quatre went to see if Duo was alright. Duo choked on the air he was desperatly trying to get into his lungs. Quatre finally got a good look around the room while everyone, except Duo, was trying to help calm down Duo. "Uh… Duo?"

"Yes Quatre."

"Where are all the germs, and the lamp? Aren't you going to do some revenge or something like that? A fashion maybe?"

"Huh? Fashion show?"

"Or maybe a picture?" Asked Trowa.

"Picture? What are you talking about?"

Heero walked up to Duo. "Don't you remember? You said you were going to send an army of germs because Wufei didn't give you a cookie."

"Oh! That! I changed my mind."

Eveybody's jaw dropped to the floor. "Changed your mind?" They all asked.

"Yes! When I started collecting my army, I got really tired, and bored with the idea, so I just decided to play DDR. Want to play?"

Although all were disappointed with how shohrt of an attention span Duo had, they all played anyway. Heero and Trowa were sturggling at light mode. Quatre was doing really well on standard. Duo and Wufei kept competing with each other on heavy and challenge mode. Poor Wufei, he's still unable to beat Duo.


End file.
